Can love be measured by any formula? We still don’t know the answer to it, but mathematicians seem to have found a formula for lasting marriages! So, after all it may not be just chemistry that makes couples stick together.

According to a new research on about a thousand Swiss couples, men who marry women who are at least 5 or more years younger to them and better educated have a higher chance of success in marriage. The “linear assignment model” used by business people to match the right tasks to the right workers was applied by these mathematicians to “optimise spousal allocation”.

However, a lot of other factors are also considered for successful marriage, which includes divorce history and the personality of the individuals. Both history and wisdom show that men are not ready to get married before 30. Well, that’s even good news for older singles and over-50s singles, who never got married or went through a divorce. Finding a woman who is younger and better educated than them may actually turn the tables in their favour.

In fact, it has been an age old tradition for men to choose younger women as men had the traditional role of providing for their families. And they also tend to choose women who are less educated so as not to feel threatened. The mathematicians and many parts of society, will no doubt argue, that it is high time men changed their attitude towards women to have a long lasting and happy married life.

Love knows no boundaries. So what is age? A person’s age doesn’t matter when it comes to love or the desire to find a lovable partner for life. Many older singles are finding love online at mature dating sites.

If you go by the numbers provided by leading mature dating sites, there has been a significant growth in the number of older singles who are registering their profiles there. Many of the registrants are divorcees and widows looking mainly for companionship, while a small percentage have never been married. They are out there not just to have fun, but to find a partner to enter into a serious relationship.

As traditional ways of dating like singles dances are not working out much, the Web is providing the much needed solace to over-50s singles.
Like in case of any online dating, older singles have to be careful before meeting someone in person. But as more and more people are going online to find their partner, the small risk is offset by the rewards.

Mature singles can find out the likes and dislikes of the person they are dating and choose to be with someone they think would be more compatible.
People like Jerry Reiser (Clinton, southwest of Ann Arbor) now swear by the Web because if it wasn’t for the Web he wouldn’t have met his Debbie.

So, you are one of those new-age singles who has recently started feeling mushy about the friend you have been chatting to online for the last six months! And voila! You have also decided to meet up with that special somebody in the coming week and make a successful transformation from an online dating couple to cupid-struck love-birds!

But this is where you should let your imagination screech to a halt and do a reality check on the safety, security and the potential success of meeting a virtual dating partner offline, i.e. in a face-to-face, real date. Here are some points that you should follow with acute deliberation instead of taking a blind plunge.

• Check that Dream Bubble – You may think you have found the online version of the man/ woman of your dreams, but things may be as different in reality as chalk is to cheese. You may have read about stories and news clips of online dating individuals ending up in a horrendous situation when they finally met their partner for real.

Keep your dreamy emotions in check and try being neutral about what to expect. It is always advisable to share your photos (albeit with an eye on privacy and security issues) and other characteristic details with your virtual partner before you decide on the D-Day.

• Try Establishing (Real) Contact – You may have been the most regular of online chat buddies and have been mailing and messaging (read SMSing too). Yet it is always preferable to call the person up on his/ her cellphone to acknowledge whether you two will hit it off as in the real-world conversational scenario. Too many lulls or awkward pauses may not be a good sign at all!
• The Place – Make sure you meet your partner during the day and at a busy place like a popular café or restaurant. Asking your virtual partner to pick you up or drop you off is a strict no-no, as is visiting them in a pub or in his/ her apartment. Male sure a couple of your friends or family know where you are heading off to, and try and tag them along at a safe distance if you are not of the strong or strong-willed type!

With these tips, most of you will be able to sail smooth with your virtual partners, especially, for people who are involved in the mature dating scenario.

Gone are the days when 42-year old Demi Moore dating a 27-year old Ashton Kutcher made the news for all the wrong reasons. Today, older women have become much more direct and free in approaching and dating younger men, with the long-standing taboo been erased with time.

Earlier, what had been the ball-game of older males has now also become commonplace for their female counterparts. While older women, (or the so called ‘cougars’) have increased in numbers, the idea of mature dating where the woman is considerably older than her boyfriend or male partner has also seen a a definite increase. A lot of this has to be credited to mature dating sites, that have helped remove the social stigma and society-issues that kept older women from dating younger men.

This trend has also been caught on the Television and film frames, albeit with controversial debates and critical discussions opening up in café clubs to online forums. Sitcoms such as ‘Cougar Town’, ‘Accidentally on Purpose’ or films like ‘Cougar Club’, released in 2007, present different viewpoints on the definition of ‘cougars’ in real life and how they have adapted or been accepted into the social circle.

Examples of celebrities like Madonna (51) and Jesus Luz (23), Mariah Carey (40) and Nick Cannon (29) and others have also helped improve the image of older women dating younger men in popular context. It has also helped move the highlight of such relationships from mere sex to more important issues like mature behaviour, stability and security.

As Kathryn Flett, critic at the Observer quips, “What television does is hold up a mirror to society. It is always writ large and cartoonish, but nevertheless it has emerged from a genuine phenomenon. I can tell you that there are a lot of single women – for the sake of argument, in their 40s – having relationships with younger men.”

So like it or lump it, mature dating with older women ruling the roost over younger men is here to stay, and perhaps influence the way you looked at relationships as well!

Being single as you get older can be difficult, especially, for people who live alone. Most mature singles have expressed a desire to have a partner or at least be involved in serious mature dating to avoid the risk of falling into the loneliness trap. However, this has been difficult, even in progressive societies because of the taboo attached with the concept of senior dating.

Seniorpeoplemeet.com seeks to erase these difficulties. Considered as one of the largest online dating portals for seniors and individuals interested in mature dating, Seniorpeoplemeet.com is a free-for-starters site. One can easily browse potential partner profiles and create a full profile (with a photo) by only signing up, without paying for anything! However, the site allows access to its best features only after a paid membership is subscribed to. The latter option is not at all disappointing, with features such as live chat and video conversations enhancing the experience of mature dating several times higher than usual.

With an intricately created profile, individuals interested in senior dating can easily look up compatible partners, with keeping specific pre-conditions like location, preferences and age. The site also offers tips and dating advice on its own to the members, making the complete mature-dating experience all the more enjoyable. Advanced search options also assist members in searching for an exact partner choice they had been looking for.

Seniorproplemeet.com is a great investment in privacy for those in need of love or companionship of a mature level!

There’s good news and bad news! The good news is that the Manchester Council has taken the pains of spending over £8,000 in releasing a book, a sex guide in fact, surprisingly for those over 50s! The bad news is that not only has it drawn flak from the general community, many people think of it as a misguided investment.

However, the over-50s, especially, couples are not complaining a bit as 600 free copies of the book were handed out at Manchester Town Hall. Almost 5,000 free copies have been funded by the Manchester City Council and NHS Manchester.

The book has already raised a whirlwind in the British government as well as among Brits trying to come to terms with the images of over-50s couples kissing and appearing in suggestive photographs. The book has chapters that deal with general issues and health concerns related to sex.

A number of reasons were cited for the development of the book. A Manchester city council member quipped, “The guide was developed after listening to the concerns of older people through a number of focus groups. It is written in a language older people understand and addresses the issues they have raised.” However, what has pleased the over-50s age group is the recognition of the fact that sex is not only a concern for young couples and individuals but also for those of mature standing.

As over-50s couples in the mature dating scenario garner a wider interest and attention than what had been prevalent earlier, the book is a welcome sign of an even better reception of mature dating and sex ideas. And since it comes from the government authorities itself, the ounce of doubt regarding partisan or seconded views has also been erased.

For women like Pia and Pam, aged in their late 60s, the book has opened up a new skylight for an improved sex life and allied health concerns without having to invest in anything!

Ageism is nothing new in the media as almost all channels, irrespective of their genre, broadcast track record, popularity or scope, indulge in it. However, what comes as a bigger surprise is the fact that one of the most respected and reputed of Britain’s media houses, the BBC, is contemplating hiring older women as anchors to defend accusations of ageism. Even though most say this has come too late and is too little, the trend is purported to catch up with smaller news channels as well – opening a vent for older females who have had the expertise but had been sidelined in favour of their younger counterparts.

This move from the BBC bigwigs has come after controversy surrounded the broadcaster, with veteran newsreader Moira Stuart and aged TV show judge Arlene Phillips being axed from BBC’s news edition and BBC1’s dancing reality show, respectively.

According to Mark Thompson, the BBC Director General, an older face would better represent the diverse ages in the industry and within the media house as well. The decision has been echoed by the BBC news director Helen Hoaden and other news chiefs as well.

Older women have been sidelined in favour of younger newsreaders and anchors – glamour and youth being some of the mainstays of the news and entertainment industry. This, interestingly, has not been the case with their male counterparts. In fact, many prefer a balding or white-haired guy reading the news to them rather than a sprightly 23-year old. Does that indicate that ageism works only for women? The answer probably lies in this current move by BBC.

However, with this significant step from BBC, the ball is set to roll in a completely new direction. Older women would now share a better amount of screen space, a deserving ode to their dedication, experience and a far better rapport with the audience (which has been built over the decades they have served as newsreaders)!

However, as Anne Robinson, Watchdog presenter, quips, “All television is sexist and ageist.” Therefore, only time will tell whether BBC’s try at clearing its name off ageism-lists will be worthwhile or not! Otherwise, the graveyard shift will be all but welcome to the older females anchoring or news-reading at the various media outlets and channels across the country.

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Further Reading

Over at The Elder Storytelling Place you can find an interesting post by Lyn Burnstine on the Oldest Blogger, Not

Frances Leckie at the Independent Living Journal highlights the issues of rampant ageism in the NHS

In an age of fickle marriages and even shorter love interests, the saga of Frank and Anita Milford may seem like an epic out of time! Married for 81 years, the couple had almost become a legacy in the port town of Plymouth, where they had spent their entire life. This is why, when death struck Frank off their record for the longest marriage in British history, Anita had nothing to complain of.

The pair had been devoted to each other till the very end. Their son, Frank (76 himself!) rued, “She’s very upset obviously, but she was sitting holding his hand when he passed away”. He dedicated the longevity of his parents’ marriage to the love and bonhomie they shared amongst each other – probably because of the long road they had travelled together in the journey of life.

From marrying at the tender age of 20 to surviving the London bombing (or the Blitz), life’s intricacies had blossomed in full bloom for them.

Another couple, Ralph and Phyllis, aged 106 and 100 respectively, who hold the record for the oldest British married couple in history, have the same story to relate. In their own words, bickering and little fights contributed to the steadfast marriage they have enjoyed for almost 76 years. Saddened by the news of Frank’s death, they realize that their blissful time might come to an abrupt end. But this hasn’t made the couple worried a bit. Instead they have geared themselves up for a better time in the future ahead!

The emerging scene of mature dating and over-50s dating can take inspiration from these stories. If the longest of marriages and relationships have lasted years of trial by fire, a relationship that takes flight in the mature age has no reason to falter either! Frank and Anita might have been separated by death, but their true story of romance will keep mere us mortals waiting for our moment of reckoning!

Statistics suggest that about one-third of the over-65s, including about 50% of all women residing in the UK suffer from loneliness or live alone. Most of them are widowed, the children have moved out or sadly abandoned by family members.

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Most people have times when they are alone through choice or circustances. However, loneliness in baby boomers is mainly the result of social isolation. Experts suggest that the change in lifestyle, marriage patterns, advancement of medicine (a longer life-term) and the increasing number of older singles has led to the endemic but overwhelmingly spreading problem of baby boomer loneliness.

So are there ways to prevent the thoughts and feelings of loneliness creeping into the lives of older singles?

Read on to know more:

• Learn the Unexplored – Learn what you had always wanted to. Learning the salsa or improving your culinary skills is the best way to engage yourself and probably meet new friends!
• Make Friends – Start making new friends by going to the pub, join a local club or pick up the phone and call an old friend. Invite friends over for a beer or a game of cards and strike up a conversation.
• Look for Love – It is never late to look for romance in your life, even if you are an older single or a single man or woman over 50. Nothing can ward off the web of loneliness like love does. Start today and find new friends, love and romance.
• Social Networking – Try Twitter or Facebook. Baby Boomers are now the fastest adopters of this technology so you will quickly find people with similar interests.
• Pets – Adopting a pet is also a nice option to help rid you off loneliness. Older singles can adopt pets for company, with an added bonus of security and help (guide dogs for an instance).

With so many options to combat loneliness, why wait?

After a long time comes a film that deals with mature dating and senior sex issues, albeit with enough grace and taste. Play the Game explores the adventures of dating, as it evolves within and amidst different generations of partners.

Inspired by a true story, the film follows a young lad in his twenties providing dating tips to his 80+ grandfather (whose wife has passed away recently). The twists and turns define their lives as the story progresses.

With veterans like Andy Griffith and Liz Sheridan acting it out, the film is expressive in its story-telling and breaks many myths on mature dating. With a great cast, filming the whole script over a short period of 25 days was a cakewalk. However, no moment in the film exhibits hurriedness or skipped story-parts. The fine screenplay and silken acting makes the film stand tall for the genre it represents.

Andy Griffith portrays the ‘old man in search of love’ with ease, and the elements in the story make his quest graceful yet comical to watch. Laughs are aplenty in the film, with gags and one-liners making the sensitive subject of mature dating look fun and ingenious.

One of the best segments of the film showcases the surprise and innocent happiness on Griffith’s face after innocuously taking Viagra with wine as Sheridan seduces him. The whole episode of senior sex has been done with finesse, reflecting the calibre of writer/ director Marc Fienberg.

Play the Game might not be a pioneering work of fiction set on film, but it sure does make inroads into the still-conservative mindsets where mature dating is a subject of taboo and hush-hush. It is definitely a trend-setter, especially, for the young audience, who often misjudge and mistake the need for love and partnership for the elderly.